"Hey! Numbnuts! Get
a move on!"
Damn! The guard.
"Yessir" - I shuffled past. Now
what was I gonna do? Who was the guy in that cell, and who the Hell was
that woman in the poster? Something was strange. Felt a weird feeling -
kinda like I had seen her some place before.
No way.
People like that don't cross my path
too often. And even if they did, they were usually a hit-and-run.
So I went back to my cell. I tried to
sleep, but images of her and the fact that my cellmate Rat-Eye Rabbinzo
was snoring like a broken chainsaw kept me awake. So I just thought of
where I'd seen her before.
Nada.
Next day at chow, I tried to ask around.
Had to be careful though, because I didn't want the guys to think I was
after the guy in the cell - you know how that kind of mistake can
leave you wishin you had practiced with a bat before they sent you upriver.
"Look," I said, "he's got a poster of
this chick in a red swim suit. Man, she's hot."
Suddenly, eyes lit up and a few smiles
drifted around the table.
"Oh - now you know who I'm talking
about."
The guard walked by, and all eyes dropped
to the cornmeal mush - it was Saturday, always cornmeal mush on Saturday.
Guy to my left never raised his eyes
of his face from his plate. "Yeah. We know her."
"You do?" I asked, trying to hide my
excitement.
"Umm hmm" he began to smirk. "Bonny
Appetite."
The guys started to laugh, but not loud
enough to be heard.
I felt like I had been had, but I went
along anyway. "Bonny Appetite, huh? Where's she from?"
Guy across the table offered, "Somewhere
beneath your blanket tonite, home-boy."
Table laughed again. I was getting nowhere.
Time to hit the yard. I walked around
watching the big guys lift weights, and the little guys standing with their
backs to the stone walls.
"Bonny Appetite," I thought. Then I
smiled - the same smile James Bond smiled in Goldfinger when Honor
Blackman first said "Pussy Galore" - "I must be dreaming."
"Hey!"
I looked at a skinny black man
with a gold tooth. He was standing kinda at a tilt, but his eyes were dead
on me.
"You wanna know about the chick in the
red suit?" Then he looked around, as if someone would be after him.
I swallowed noisily.
"Yeah. Sure - you know her."
He looked at me like I had just pissed
on his shoes.
"No, dumbass - I don't know her. But
I know who does."
He was my new best friend.
"Tell me, I whispered.
"Three packs," he blurted before he
turned around to scan the guards standing on the wall.
"Three? I don't even have one
pack of smokes on me right now. "
He smiled. "Then come back when you
do."
And he was gone.
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