Our best friend Amadan Mor from Tralee, Co Kerry sent us this AOL chain letter today. She is a sick woman, and that's why Jake and Elwood love her dearly.


My name is Matty Evans, and I'm a nine-year-old boy.

My mother is typing this for me, because I can't.
She is crying.

The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body.

It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe or play lacrosse or jog.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a nylon bag filled with
leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do, on account of us
having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we
need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying
people. I said, "Don't cry Mommy" and she hugged my nylon bag.

Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to nylon and it makes
her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to
everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too.

Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill
Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding,
NASA will collect prayers from schoolchildren all over America and have the
astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better.
Then they will come back to Earth and go to the Pope,and he will take up a
collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors
could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to fish without
having to use my mouth.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to
the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.

Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves
to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay.
Mommy says you're a mean and heartless b****rd who doesn't care about a poor
little boy with only a head.

She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden
stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever
in Hell.

What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five f**kin minutes
to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame
about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard.

I wish I had a kitten. I wish I could hold a kitten. I wish I could hold a
kitten that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of
my nylon body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,
Matt "Smiley" Evans.